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December 23rd, 2009
unsentletters [moe_sense]
 | 07:41 pm
Hey Mommy and Daddy, Why is probably the most asked question from a parent to a child. You probably ask it all the time. "Why is my child like this?" "Why is she failing her classes?" "Why was she in the mental hospital?" "Why is she so weird lately?" Well, Mummy dearest, you will probably never know the answers to any of these questions. It's hard to break into my mind. I know that enough, since there are still many locked doors in there. They are labeled "Depression," "Anxiety," "Innermost Thoughts," "Asperger's syndrome," and "The Meaning of Life." I hope to find the keys, and I know that you will never find them. Why find the important keys when you can't even find the regular ones? Hey, daddy, did you know I read gay porn? Hey, mommy, did you know I'm bisexual? Even my friends know more about me. How sad do you think that is?
Current Music: "Push It (Jb's Death Trance mix)" - Static-X
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unsentletters [jarethrake]
 | 11:00 am Hey DJ,
I am probably being completely unreasonable here. But, if you're awake, I see no reason why you can't, you know, check your phone. Especially since the last thing I said to you was "I'm locked out".
I know I'm unusually wedded to my phone. If I hear it ring, I'll respond quickly, and I'll usually hear it ring because I keep it by my computer while I'm working. I fail to see why other people can't respond properly.
I am mostly annoyed because I think this indicates that I'm more into you than you are me. I hate that, especially since this started with you gazing at me for hours on end. I want to keep my mystery, but I can't seem to help checking my phone all the time.
Fucks sake. I hate myself like this.
I'm not responding to any texts until noon tomorrow. I shall be busy.
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unsentletters [preety_lady]
 | 11:47 am Dear V,
I don't care if you are pissed off at me for saying what I said yesterday. You deserved it. I know I am a mere employee and you the boss but if you are ticked off then maybe you should have thought about it.
As I said, I don't mind that you hired that girl, I really don't. But giving her my Wednesday 's hour of teaching without informing me is just plain wrong. I had an operation and couldn't do the dancing activities so we said I was going to get replaced until after Christmas. But tell me... Wasn't I the one who skipped all my sickness leave and got back to regular teaching 2 days after I got out from the hospital? Didn't I resume perfectly my other 11 hours of teaching? It was just that one hour!
Now if I recall things accurately, which I do, when C. last year dumped us in the middle of the year because she found a much better job, I was the one you asked to work more hours because the institute was new and we couldn't cancel her classes. And I did! And believe me I had to sacrifice things I did for this. But you never, ever thought of this didn't you?
You know it isn't the fact that you gave that hour that hurt my feelings. Nor the wage drop which is a result of this. What really hurt my feelings is that you gave her the class without informing me. Do you know how humiliating it feels to have someone storm in your classroom and asking you for the teacher's books and you, not knowing anything? For effin's sake why couldn't you give me a week's notice? Saying you forgot to inform me does not make me feel any better. It makes me feel worse.
So you know... Revenge is a dish served cold. I am going to do my job, because kids don't deserve paying for this. And God be my witness, I am going to do such a good job they will all pass their exams. And once they do, I am free. I am not going to work for you next year.
Thanks for the appreciation
K. Current Mood: bitchy
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unsentletters [vixellette]
 | 05:41 pm - Dear my old lover... Henry my dear,
A long time ago I was a girl who won your heart. I would not forget how that unfriendly silence had made me fallen for you. How we talked in whispers and the romantic silent interaction between us.
But now, where was the love that you used to stab into my heart? Yes, now you have torn my heart in pieces. Who am I now for you, compared to the last time when you stared at me so meaningfully as if you didn't want to let me go? How could you be so blind when I reappeared as prettiest as possible? I bet you'll regret because you just losing a chance you never have, and I won't insist in approaching you again afterward.
Thank you for ever made my days different that they were so beautiful, despise the disappointment you gave me. I would make all the affections that used to be existed between us as an inspiration. Indeed, you are a story written definitely forever in my mind, Henry.
Your secret crush, Nina Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Playlist: Broken Heart
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unsentletters [rebeccagrace]
 | 09:28 pm
Dear girls of "Teen Mom",
When I watch your show I cry with you when you cry and I feel so bad for you because of your situations...but I can't help but think of how lucky you are. You are moms...you have babies...just for that I envy you. Your circumstances are not ideal, and I can't imagine how hard it must be to be a teen mother, but still I envy you. Watching your show makes me sad, but I want to know your stories.
Dear Hubby,
I'm so sorry we haven't been able to get pregnant yet. I feel like such a failure as a woman and a wife, and I am so sorry you aren't a dad yet. You are such a wonderful man, and you are so great with our nephew...and it breaks my heart because I want you to experience that. With our baby. With our own child. It makes me so sad that it hasn't happened that way. Please don't feel like I'm not doing everything I can. I want a child as much as you do, believe me. Please don't think less of me because of this. I couldn't stand it...I feel bad enough already. Also, forgive me for being so emotional lately. The fertility drugs make me just...ugh. I'm weepy and I try to hide it, and when you ask me what is wrong I say nothing because I don't want to talk about it, because it's too painful and there is nothing you can do anyway...you know how I hate to cry in front of people, even you hon.
I'm sorry and I know it's not really my fault and that you don't blame me, but I can't help but feel guilty.
Current Mood: guilty
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unsentletters [pinkxbubblesx]
 | 02:22 am Dear life in general
Remember that time when you thought about other things? I mean yes, the ED was always there telling you how fat and awful you were, but you thought and cared about other things as well. Family, friends for example. Now all i think about is the ED, i dont think about family, friends, the other things that make up life, i dont care about them, all i think about is my ED. I couldnt care less about anything else and I hate that I dont hate this fact.
Please change life.
from H the selfish bitch crying on the floor wishing for something else Xxx
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December 22nd, 2009
unsentletters [theseaofghosts]
 | 08:09 pm - Dear Ayumi, I never, ever hated you. Ever.
The weeks I started drifting away, then completely disappeared, then talked to you again and told you to never talk to me again and to leave me alone,
I didn't mean any of it. I wasn't ashamed of you, you didn't do anything wrong, I wasn't weird about dating another girl or anything like that.
I had a serious drug addiction that I didn't tell ANYONE about. Not you, not my friends or family, no one knew until the very end. I started abusing those weeks when I would tell you I'm just busy with work and moving in, when in reality I moved to a shitty apartment because my mom kicked me out and I had no job and all the money I had was wasted on vodka and cocaine. I did get accepted to school, but they revoked my scholarship because I never went to admissions or called them. Then I just disappeared off the planet to everyone, until I got sick and had to go to the hospital and then to rehab.
Even though I'm out now, I'm afraid to face you. I want to see you in person, or just talk to you. But I'm sure you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore.
I hope you stay on my MSN list and don't change your email or anything, because every day I build up a little more courage to go on and tell you everything.
To be honest I'm still in love with you, and probably always will be. I can't forget about you, not ever.
No matter what either of us do, you'll always be the one that has my heart.
Take care of it.
Love,
Emily
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unsentletters [scaratch]
 | 10:25 pm Mom,
The world is a little bit colder without you in it. I miss you.
x
---
Dear A
Thanks for the fantasies, but now please get out of my head! I am happily un-married but spoken for. So take a hike - I bet you're not all that in real life anyway.
Ta :-)
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unsentletters [fatedancer]
 | 09:24 pm - Dear Grandma... Happy Xmas Dear Grandma,
Happy Christmas, where ever you are. This celebration has simply not been the same since you died. Many years have passed, but we all miss you at Christmas, your smile, your love and the special warmth you created for all of us in your home. We always felt special thanks to you. You have been a great woman in our lives. I hope you are having fun up there, throwing snowballs at friends and doing anything that people do when they pass away.
Lots of love.
XoXoXo
C. Current Location: Milano, Italy
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unsentletters [acidqueen31]
 | 10:58 am Dear Livy,
You are my best friend in the entire world. When my mom told me she was pregnant you were the only person who understood why I was upset. You were always there for me when I needed you. You carried me through that time. You saved my life. If it weren't for you I probably wouldn't be here right now.
When I have great news you're the first person I call. When you're happy, I'm happy. For fifteen years now you've been my friend, confidante, and soul sister. You're my consiglieri. You're one of the only people in the world that I trust completely.
You were there for me when Greg treated me like crap. You were there for me when I almost failed math class. You were there for me when my parents argued or my brother was a jerk. You listen to my rants and you can always make me laugh when I'm sad. So here are some great memories that I've shared with you:
*Fighting over "Pat the Bunny" when we were babies *Pretending our American Girl dolls were secret agents *Watching "The Breakfast Club" at two A.M. *Getting lost in the Metropolitan Museum of Art *Doing your Joe Strummer imitation *Singing the entire soundtrack of "Once More With Feeling" on the airplane to Ireland *Getting buried under books at The Strand *Almost getting run over by a hippy-cab in Chinatown *Eating passionfruit gelato *Talking about Paris *Planning our world trip
You're my truest friend in the world, and I will always love you. You've carried me through my whole life, and I hope that I've carried you. You are my best friend. Merry Christmas.
Love, N Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Martha My Dear, The Beatles
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unsentletters [scarlet2010]
 | 11:14 am - Thanks Dear 'The Big Man',
In a word i want to say 'Thanks'. I sometimes forget to say it. And sometimes all I do is ask for things. Not everyone believes your there. And like me not everyone knows exactly what you are. So thanks. Thanks for keeping my family healthy, helping me find someone (never thought this would happen), giving me motivation to be successful, being there, and thanks for giving me people that love me.
Much Love xx
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unsentletters [vixellette]
 | 06:25 pm - I was yours... *corrected* Dear Henry,
How are you my dear? Do you still remember on the fourth day we met, when you were nodding shyly and stared so meaningfully at me as if you didn't want to lose a chance to look at me for the last time, and I was smiled sweetly at you?
Today, I dressed as pretty as possible because I wanted to see you again, after finally I could go out just as my therapy session almost finish. I tried to look a little feminine so I wore my Bohemian heelless slippers instead of my boots, and a nice peach blouse. Looking at the mirror, I decided to untie my hair and let it down to its naturally most gorgeous curls. I was happy; I already looked so healthy that my face was no longer pale and my cheeks were naturally pinkish and my lips was at its nicest natural colour without lipstick nor lipgloss.
Yes, I looked so pretty today... Wasn't I? Because I wanted you to see me simply as pretty as possible...
But what's wrong with my appearance? Did my face still look pale and lifeless? Out of my expectation, you've dumped me. You've disappointed me by ignoring me, just as I realised after you stared at my feet. Why, did you find them in ugly or in a strange shape? Well, this might sound funny but seriously this has offending me much. Suddenly I was regret for not wearing shoes. Apparently two weeks of my absence has made you forgot the feeling. Where was the love? Where was the romance? Where was the feeling that used to be existed between us?
Fine, then. I won't insisted or forced anything from you. Next time, I won't put so much hopes onto you. I guess it's better to forgetting you. Our conversation will be nothing more than the business between the customer and the worker. I won't try to looking for you anymore. Because somehow, we are nobody but strangers.
Therefore... I would like to thank you for made my days beautiful and different. Thank you for the feeling you ever gave me, even if it ends up so disappointingly like this, at least I've fallen for someone for real, in person, right in front of my eyes and face, thanks for all the words and attempts you tried in approaching me, all your whisper and the romantic interaction between us and thanks for making me felt special; even if we never even got a chance to talk and get to know with each other.
Send my regard to your friend too. Thanks for him for introduced you to me. Thanks for his kindness. Now I've found a final reason not to feel sorry if one day I'll leave forever this place, when I'm moving one without telling you a single word.
'cause we never got to know each other. ..
I loved you, Nina Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Playlist: Broken Heart
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unsentletters [needcash4weed]
 | 03:01 am dear you,
you leave and come back and leave and come back and leave and come back. each time i welcome you with open arms. each time you remind me of why i love you without knowing. each time you pretend nothing happened. maybe it's just me, but it's hard to pretend nothing happen. it's hard to pretend that you don't leave and come back multiple times a year. it's hard to pretend that i don't love you, that i haven't loved you for three years. it's hard to welcome you back everytime because i know you're going to leave again. when you leave i always have to pick my pieces up and put my walls up the minute you come back, i'm yours. i was yours three years ago, i'm still yours now. i don't know if you know this. i don't want to bring it up because i don't want to make you leave. i'm use to you leaving on your own. i'm trying so hard for this, i want to be friends. if friendship is the only thing i am able to get, i want it. i love you and it scares me that no matter what i'm doing, no matter who i'm with.
i would drop everything for you. this isn't going anywhere. i'm not going anywhere. i'll always be here and you always seem to find me.
you're a priority and i'm an option.
always, me.
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December 21st, 2009
unsentletters [puppieluv77]
 | 07:23 pm it's putting me in a funk, having you back in my life. I know that we promised eachother to be friends forever, but I also promised myself that I would kick you out of my life. I love you, you bastard. Why cant you understand that? I'm an adult, I'm perfectly capable of loving you. Stop seeing me like a child! I'm not a child, and I love you.
I don't see what's so much better about that stupid girl you're with. She has an annoying voice. I guess I can understand, so I take it back. She paid your phone bill after only a month of knowing you. Now you live with her, she buys your clothes, pays your phone bill, buys your cigarettes and weed, and feeds you. You've got a sugar mama. I can't be your sugar mama I guess...if that's what you want, you're where you need to be. But I still love you. I love you but I don't want to be your sugar mama. I don't want a child....a responsibility. You're more of her responsibility than her boyfriend, and you're not a catch at all.... Catching you on a fishing line is like trying to pull an anchor out of the sea.
Now you say she's the love of your life. THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE? If the right thing for me to do is shut my mouth while i'm hurting... and let you be... then hon, I need you to let me be. I can't have you flaunting all that in front of me...I can't have you talking about how you're in love to me. I can't be your best friend anymore.
You know that song by usher.... "before anything that came between us.. you were like my best friend. The one I used to go and talk to when me & my girl were having problems. You used to say it would be alright, suggest some nice things I should do.. but at night when I go home and lay my head down all i used to think about was you!!!"
I used to hope that someday that song would be to me. You would dedicate it to me and we would just hold eachother and kiss. I'm not a cuddly person, and I don't like kissing, but for some reason I feel like all that would be different with you. You can love anyone you want...but that chemical attraction...baby that's not something to scoff at... that's not something you choose.
Anyway, now that for some reason, you came back into my life. And you only seem to want to see me when YOU call. You dont take me seriously when I call you...i'm not going to call you. and it's going to take me a while to decide weather I want to answer for you. I don't think its right......
HERE IS WHERE THE CONFUSION SETS IN THOUGH...Majorly split in half
You said I was like your little sister..... that made me melt. I'm an only child and i've ALWAYS wanted an older brother. You would be my perfect big brother... BUT WHY!!!!!!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU?? THIS SUCKS!!! If I ever officially called you my brother, marrying you would be out of the question. I would be voulentarily saying that I would never love you "like that"....and then after you break up with your 'sugar mama' I would still not have a chance, and you would go and find someone else. I don't know what to do..... screw you. Current Mood: confused
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unsentletters [hashire]
 | 05:01 am - it's a long 'un D,
It’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened, but it’s certainly the last. It’s been almost five months since we last spoke, so it’s not anything new. It’s really nice that you blocked me on AIM, though. I could tell because I went on your Facebook page one day, looked at the info section, and it listed you as “online,” but you weren’t on my list. So I asked another friend if you were on his, and when he said yes, I knew that I had been blocked. Facebook, too. Ever heard of Online Now? I can see you, but I’m no longer obsessive about checking if you’re on anymore. I don’t really care.
But really. I “can’t treat people however (I) want when (I’m) pissed”? You know, there were many points were you treated me like crap and you weren’t pissed. I never appreciated the little jabs you took at me, even if they seemed innocuous. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize my clothes didn’t fit right and didn’t flatter me because I didn’t know, plus I wanted to believe I was still that size. Now, even after I’ve lost all that weight I’m never entirely sure what fits and what doesn’t, and your words come back. And I’m so sorry that I don’t know how to put on makeup or what the right color is for me. And that it looks like I don’t have eyebrows sometimes. Why not just tell me that I’m fat and ugly instead of all that? Not that that would have hurt any less; of course it would hurt more, but at least I’d know what you really think. I know I’m too sensitive sometimes, but I really can’t help it. You should know that, of course, but you never fully internalized that fact.
And I “don’t know how to be friend”? I guess I imagined all of those times when I was there for you, whether it be driving you everywhere and anywhere you wanted and at times needed to go, comforting you after you had been dumped by your first serious boyfriend, listening to you talk about all sorts of problems you were having, and bringing you food for lunches from my two crappy jobs. And then there was that summer when we first became friends. Did you completely forgot the days and nights we spent together, bouncing back and forth, staying at my house one night (or even two), yours the next, then back to mine, and then yours again? Even at the time I knew that everything would be different the next summer, because I knew things would change, so I enjoyed it as much as I possibly could. The changes, of course, would not be in our friendship, but in our situations, because we each got a job and subsequently worked a lot, and you had your first stupid long-distance relationship at that point, which caused our first real fight/extended argument/vehement disagreement. Whatever it was. But this is beside the point.
It feels like I was always doing more. I was always the one agreeing to go out late at night when I should have been trying to work on getting on a good sleep schedule. And then there were all those times where you stayed at my house until midnight, on your laptop, on our wireless internet doing nothing on school nights because you didn’t want to be around your mom. Granted, she isn’t easy to deal with, but that’s still too late for someone who had to get up just after eight to pick YOU up and take you to class, who’s tired all the time anyway and because of the late hours was not getting an adequate amount of sleep. I sacrificed sleep so you could get away from your mom, but it’s not like it was ever something I was thanked for. And once you met your now-fiancé, you very easily ditched me to spend those nights with him instead. I wasn’t really happy about not being around you as much, and I still had to take you home for awhile, until your mom accepted that you would be spending the night with your boyfriend. But I wasn’t unhappy when I didn’t have to go out just to get you and take you home because your mom didn’t want to and you needed to go back there. It’s not like I was too important anymore anyway once another guy came into the picture.
I know what I did wasn’t the right thing to do, and I know I shouldn’t have done it. But, you know, it’s not like you never turned me down or didn’t want to go somewhere. I can’t even count the times on one hand that I wanted to go out and you didn’t. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with this, except it happened all the time. I really had no one else to go out with, and I certainly couldn’t go alone. But then you said that seeing two of your friends happy made you depressed and if you felt like it on Friday you wouldn’t want to go out. So how is this different? How is my cancelling of plans with friends different from you deciding yet again that you don’t want to go downtown Friday night with me? And why is it that you’re allowed to feel depressed because your then-boyfriend-now-fiancé was out of town and you stayed with two friends who happened to be a happy couple, but it's oh-so-different when I feel depressed over seeing you and your then-boyfriend-now-fiancé happy? Cancelling plans is okay for you to do, but it’s not okay when I do it, I guess. But, really, do you want to know what I had been doing when I sent that text? I had just torn apart my room looking for a part to the charger cord for my laptop. I stripped my bed of its sheets and threw my pillows at the door and pulled the mattress down so it was half off the frame at an angle, and I was leaning against it when my mom came up to check to see if I was okay. I wouldn’t object to anyone calling me crazy at that point because that’s what I was. My new meds hadn’t kicked in yet. It was hell.
I thought about getting into contact with you again about a week ago. The thought lasted for two seconds. Then I decided that too much had happened, and things could never go back to the way they were. Our friendship was great while it lasted, but I guess it wasn’t meant to last for very long.
As I’ve writing this I’ve been crying. There were a few points where I had to hold in my sobs because it’s almost three in the morning and I don’t want to wake up my parents. So don’t think I don’t care if that’s what you were to think, or that I’ve been just bitterly hammering this out. You’d probably cry, too, if you ever read this. But I don’t have the intention of sending it to you because this is over and I don’t want or need to start any drama up again.
There’s no question about it being over now. Maybe there’s the possibility of forgiving and forgetting in the future. Right now I’m too bitter to say anything more to you. Except that’s not really true. I have plenty of things to say, but, just like how this letter will never be sent, those things will never be said.
Have a nice life.
-Your former best friend.
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unsentletters [venturablue]
 | 07:26 pm j- i'll tell you that i think i'm giving up on us. but you havent completely murdered my resolve yet. let's just say that if i dont hear from you tonight or tomorrow, you will have killed it. and me too for that matter. and i will be collecting my rum and my smiths cd. and i will mourn everything that could have been, (not that i'm not doing that already) and listen to the aforementioned smiths cd on repeat. i might even crack into that bottle of rum too. i just want to tell you that this is complete and utter bullshit. why would you give me such an amazing week, make me fall for you and then for the next three weeks act like you dont really care whether i live or die? what kind of person does that? i know that you work 60 hours a week and that your friend died, but come on. if you really wanted me around you'd show it, and you arent showing it at all. it's like i'm just carrying on with a zombie and it's breaking my heart. so...there you go. there was really no need of this, no need of this at all.
thanks for nothing (probably), a. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Rolling Stones - Wild Horses
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unsentletters [ebonyneko]
 | 02:48 am Dear R,
I know everything is screwed up for you at the moment. Inside. I know that feeling. I understand the feeling of feeling so helpless and unable to help one’s self despite the opportunities being there. I’ve being there. I still get like that sometimes. I just wish I could make everything better. I wish I could you and let you cry and tell you everything will be okay because when I was with you, holding your hand, somehow I felt things would be alright. I wish things could go back to the way they were. I was so content most of the time. I…ache for you sometimes. I thought I was getting better but then after we made love all the feelings I’ve suppressed since you didn’t want me anymore came rushing back. I know how pathetic I am for liking you. I should hate you for how you spent the majority of our relationship obsessing over another girl’s journal and then dating her within a month of us breaking up. But I don’t. I’m stupid and blind.
I would of gone to japan with you. I thought that was going to be my happy ending. Apparently not.
Love,
S
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December 19th, 2009
unsentletters [xmidarex]
 | 07:34 pm Dear Mom,
I'm 18, but I'm not an adult. I can act like one, I guess, be independent and do things and all that, but if I had a choice I would never do anything alone.
So, thanks for letting me still be a kid around you. Thank you for driving us to the library, supermarket, wherever. Thanks for letting me sleep on the same bed as you sometimes. Thanks for being there to give me your opinion whenever I need it. Thanks for never wanting me to grow up. I love you.
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unsentletters [mywordsexactly]
 | 04:50 pm - oh sweet lord Dear sleepy, As I sit on the couch, i think to myself... I think I really want t have kids now, and maybe just maybe I could do it with you. Its far too early to tell. But what can I say? I think it would be nice.
Sincerely, Me
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unsentletters [pencil_fluff]
 | 04:26 pm - And I sit here, eating yogurt Dear Y,
Thank you so much for helping me with my little stunt yesterday. The ideas, the advice, the cues and timing, the little nudge...
T'was epic. T'was all epic.
And thanks to you, I know what it feels like to give a special someone a gift. I tell you, it feels awesome. It somewhat impairs the ability to focus, but it feels awesome.
Now, I need help with expressing my gratitude to you. Thank you again!
Love,
That friend who had no gift ideas
Dear E,
Glad to know that you liked the little paperweight-dish-plaster of paris thing that I made for you.
(Your happiness completed the night and made the rest of this school year for me. <3)
Season's greetings!
Love,
She Who Wears Retainers
Dear I,
So the resident Dance Dance Revolution master has been bullying you since first grade (as you claim)?
Why don't you just ignore the guy? If you answer back to anything he says with an angry and serious voice, he'll turn it into a debate. And the guy loves debates.
Um... love (?),
That one person who calmly brushes off all the E-related questions
P.S. When he said "All the prizes should be ours!", he was probably joking. He may be sharp-tongued and mean (to you at least), but he's not selfish. Really, he isn't.
Dear Math teacher,
:D
(Though I'd also like a passing grade in Algebra for Christmas, but whatever. :P)
If you'll really get me a present, Sir, please do not give it to me in class. The section monitor will kill me six ways from Sunday with her monitor's folder, and rumors will spontaneously arise like mushrooms after a thunderstorm (or something).
A bit worried that you'll get her a goldfish,
The student with an unfortunately half-empty test paper Current Mood: chipper
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